children

Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, And Happy New Year!

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christmas-tree

There is a season (a time appointed) for everything
and a time for every delight and event or purpose under heaven—
Ecclesiastes 3:1 AMP

This is the season of falling leaves and bare trees…when most things green lose their vibrant colors and morph into dismal browns and grays. Perhaps that’s the reason that the celebration of Halloween is scheduled for this time of year. Halloween with its ghosts, goblins, witches, jack-o-lanterns and all things that pertain to the macabre, is not unlike the dead leaves that cover the ground leaving the trees resembling naked skeletons.

Most Christians don’t celebrate Halloween as such, but have Fall Festivals and Trunk or Treat. The attendees are encouraged to dress as characters that don’t necessarily celebrate the dark side as they go from car to car in the church parking lot receiving candy from the trunks. There are often rides and games and face painting…fun times in a safe atmosphere!

The objects associated with Halloween, however, conjure feelings of fear, darkness and demon spirits. Things of which, we as Christians don’t want to be a part. Therefore we have reinvented its meaning to our children and allow them to participate according to our definition. But as I was thinking about all of this, I had an interesting idea come to mind regarding the connotation of Halloween and its placement in the holiday season.

Following closely behind Halloween on our yearly holiday docket is a lovely event called Thanksgiving! Simply enunciating the word “Thanksgiving”, diametrically opposed to Halloween, evokes feelings of warmth and contentment. My first thoughts are of extended family, turkey and dressing, pumpkin pie and lots and lots of chatter and laughter as everyone catches up on a year’s worth of events in a single day! What a contrast to Halloween and its dismal mental pictures of death and destruction. Thanksgiving doesn’t have to have its story rewritten to allow children to participate. On the contrary, it is an uplifting story of adventure, hardship overcome, cooperation, goodwill and overwhelming thankfulness for overflowing blessings from God. How fitting that it should follow behind Halloween and not precede it!

And next on our list, always anticipated immediately after Thanksgiving is the unprecedented holiday that we wait for all year…Christmas! Christmas…the season of brotherly love, giving, jingling bells, carols and intense shopping. But most importantly, it is the celebration of the ultimate gift to mankind…Jesus Christ the Son of God, Emmanuel, Prince of Peace! All things good are encapsulated in this glorious time of year. Its contagion spreads to those who believe and those who do not. Only those who are absolute in their refusal are not affected by this magical time of year. And for Christians, it brings joy unspeakable, as we remember the origin of our faith and the birth of our Savior as we sing with the angels, “Glory to God in the highest and on earth, peace, goodwill toward men!”

We barely and grudgingly let go of Christmas when another holiday sticks its head around the corner and bids us a “Happy New Year”! We look forward to new, bold beginnings as we jot down or make mental notes of our new year’s resolutions. And although many of us don’t keep all of them in the long run, still hope is instilled as we meditate on the possibilities of changed attitudes, changed body shapes, changed monetary situations and a bright future ahead.

So in summary, you might say that “Halloween”, the Holiday of The Macabre, gives way to “Thanksgiving”, The Holiday of Thankfulness that makes way for “Christmas”, The Holiday of Love that ushers in “New Year’s Eve”, The Holiday of Hope. And as the cycle begins again…we hope on and dream on and live on for another year of celebrations!

A MOTHER’S REFLECTIONS

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MOTHERS DAY
He gives the childless woman a family,
making her a happy mother.
Praise the Lord! Psalm 113:9 NLT

I entitled this post, “Reflections of a Mother”, because my children are grown and I now have the grand title of “Meme” to my grandchildren. All I have now are memories of their childhood, and sad to say, even those tend to fade as I get older. I still remember looking out the picture window at my son waiting for the school bus when he was in elementary school. He would sign the words, “I love you” and I would sign back the same…precious memories. I remember my daughter singing to me even when she couldn’t pronounce the words correctly. (She still sings and writes music.) Sometimes the mispronunciation was very humorous, but I didn’t laugh…precious memories.

Then came the preteen years when it seemed anything I said or did embarrassed them. I never could figure out why and they never seemed to know definitively. It certainly wasn’t deliberate. But as you know, I’m a little outspoken. They preferred that I keep ALL my opinions to myself. But as a child, I was very bashful and didn’t want them to be that way.

The year my son was entering college, their father and I divorced. It was a hard time for everyone. My son was very angry with me and lashed out verbally on many occasions. I kept asking myself, “Why is he so angry with me and not his father?” Then it came to me…I’m his mother. He knows I love him unconditionally. He knows he can vent his anger on me without serious repercussions. It wasn’t easy, but I did understand. After all, that’s the way my Heavenly Father loves me…unconditionally and with much grace!

However, I must have done something right as a mother. Both of my children are happily married and productive members of society. My daughter has made me a grandmother to four beautiful girls that she home schools. My son works in the corporate office of Virginia College. I am very proud of both of them and give God the glory!

That’s the encapsulated background of my motherhood. Now that I’m pushing sixty (I won’t tell you which way I’m pushing!), I feel that I am experienced enough to give you some advice on the subject if you’re interested. And if you are…please read on, though it may seem a little lengthy. You really don’t expect me to give a lifetime of advice in a few sentences, do you?

(1) LIGHTEN UP!
I can look back now and see so many things that would have made time with my children more enjoyable if I’d just lightened up! One facet of my personality is perfectionism. When my children were small, I didn’t even realize it. Have you ever noticed that things that are blatantly obvious to other people, we often receive with a blind eye. When I was pregnant with my son, my first, I was petrified that I wouldn’t get to the hospital on time. I had hair below my waist and I was so paranoid that it wouldn’t be fresh when I went to the hospital, I washed it every other day. My poor son was probably traumatized before he came out of the womb!

(2) ENJOY EVERY MOMENT
Even in the trying times and mundane tasks that are required of motherhood, make an effort to savor the moment. So they found your scissors and cut off all their beautiful curls…it will grow back! Or maybe they used themselves as a human canvas with permanent marker!!! Don’t blow! Use it as a teaching tool, although it takes every effort not to manifest your horror.

(3) DO YOUR BEST NOT TO STRESS
This was the hardest for me, being a perfectionist. Stop for just a moment before jumping into crisis mode and ask the Lord to give you peace, wisdom and understanding. Most things in life are not worth the pounding stress gives your body. Ask yourself, “Is this permanent? Is it fixable? Will it make an impact on our lives a year from now?” If not, its not worth the stress.

(4) MAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF
This is something I rarely did when rearing my children. (By the way, I was a stay-at-home mom, so I was with them constantly.) I felt guilty when I made time for myself…a false guilt of course. It doesn’t have to be long periods of time, just little moments to reflect on your own hopes and desires. Spend five or ten minutes in a devotional time each morning. God understands your busy schedule. It doesn’t take Him long to speak peace into your day. Give Him the opportunity and give yourself the pleasure of His blessing.

(5) MAKE TIME FOR YOUR HUSBAND
Many times as mothers, our children become priority and our husband gets left behind in the whirlwind of numerous activities and projects. Don’t let it happen! He needs your love and attention too. If you can’t work out a date night, just put the kids to bed early and enjoy some alone time. It is of utmost importance! Many marriages don’t last after children come because couples grow apart in the wake of increased responsibility.

In short, if I had the whole motherhood thing to do over again with the insight I have now, I would live, laugh, love, breath in life deeply and only exhale after holding it as long as possible!

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY, MY SISTERS AND FRIENDS!

MOTHERS DAY HEARTS

FIGHTING CLINICAL DEPRESSION

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LITTLE NANCY
Nancy (3 Years Old)

Because You are my Helper,
I sing for joy in the shadow of Your wings,
I cling to You, Your strong right hand holds me securely.
Psalms 63:7-8 NLT

I would like to address a subject that is often swept under the rug, not because it’s deviate or inappropriate, but simply because there is a stigma attached to it…a stigma brought on by ignorance. Yes, I said it! I’m talking about clinical depression. Oftentimes people who suffer from this malady try not to let it be known because the condition is associated with mental illness or instability…not so! Are people with other chronic illnesses that are caused by chemical imbalance (for instance diabetics) considered mentally ill? I don’t think so.

Now, I’m not talking about a down day here and there. We all have those. I’m talking about something these people have to deal with every day. Circumstance doesn’t cause it, although it can worsen it. You just wake up with it and you go to bed with it and you just have to deal with it.

And for those of you that would get on your “high horse” regarding divine healing…I am not excluding that possibility. God is certainly able! He has healed me more than once in my lifetime.

You may be thinking, “Well, what makes you an expert on the subject?” I’ll tell you what…the best schooling one can have…experience! I have suffered from depression for as long as I can remember, although I didn’t know what to call it. Even as a child I was never happy. All of my pictures from childhood depict a solemn, stoic-faced mini-person. At the same time, I was almost always angry. Only my family knew this side of me and they didn’t really understand.

Now, you may be thinking that I was a spoiled brat, but that really isn’t the case. Most of the time I was a good little girl and a perfectionist about everything…even my behavior. I have come to the conclusion that something in my childhood that I don’t even remember must have triggered this dysfunctional behavior. I’ll probably never know what. My mother used to kid me by singing this nursery rhyme, “Once there was a little girl who had a little curl right down in the middle of her forehead; When she was good, she was very, very good, but when she was bad…she was horrid!”

I grew up in a middle-class home with parents who provided for me and gave me the care and comfort I needed. They showed me love in the only way they, as survivors of the “great depression”, knew how. My father worked incessantly to provide for us a better life than he had experienced as a child. My mother was a homemaker who cooked, sewed and performed her motherly duties without complaint. One fond memory I do have when in grade school is coming home and opening the front door to the wafting aroma of fresh-baked tea cakes! Ummm! My mom could make the best!

Now you may be wondering why I am telling you this…am I just airing my dirty laundry so to speak? Absolutely not! What purpose would I have? I know that many people suffer from depression and many, like me, may not even know the reason. Many feel guilty about it, especially if they are a Christian. If that is true of you, I want you to know that I understand and empathize. You are not alone and it’s not your fault! But I do want to open for you a door of hope. I do want to tell you that there is something that you can do about it. Yes, I said something YOU can do!

I don’t want to write a book on this one blog entry, so if it’s okay with you, I would like to write a series on this subject. I would like to share my experiences and my lessons learned. I will share my pain and my progress, my defeats and my victories, my losses and my gains. If you don’t have a problem with this silent, sinister spawn of Satan called “Depression”, I’ll bet you know someone who does. And if I can share one nugget that will help them to overcome, I will not keep silent. I leave you with this thought, “Don’t judge another until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes!”

GOODBYE GRANNY

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The following is post is a story written by my daughter Sherry Evans.  She is writing about the death of MY Mother, HER Grandmother and THE GIRL’S Great-grandmother, whom we all called Granny. I thought it would be an encouragement to those who have lost loved ones.

HEAVENLY DANCE 2
GOODBYE GRANNY
by
Sherry Crowson Evans

The two little girls knew their granny would die someday. They just didn’t expect her to actually…die. Granny was very old and she was very tired…worn to a frazzle, she sometimes would say. The girls would laugh and smile even though they didn’t know what that meant. Granny had always been old and tired as far as the girls knew.

Today however, was different. Today, when the girls went to visit Granny she was in a hospital bed. She looked so worn out. Granny started singing the sweet old hymns her grandmother had sung to her. The girls sang too and granny clapped when they were done.

Just Before they left she whispered to the girls, “Jesus is coming to get me in a few days. Soon I’ll be dancing a jig in glory.” Then she reached out her hand to the girls and reminded them, “Girls remember, always trust in Jesus. That’s’ the only thing that matters.”

And for a moment Granny had a twinkle in her eye as she smiled and said goodbye. But the girls wore concern on their faces. Momma could tell the girls were upset at what Granny had told them. The girls hugged and kissed their Granny for, as it turned out, the last time. They could hardly wait to get out into the hallway to ask their questions.

“Momma, we can’t really see Jesus right now. How can He come and take Granny away?”

Momma explained that Granny’s body was tired. It would stop working one day and then she would go live somewhere else. The girls were happy now. “Oh, then we can still visit Granny!” Momma explained that it was too far to visit but if we trusted Jesus just like Granny said then we would all go live there one day.

The next day Granny went to sleep and didn’t wake up for a few days. Then she was gone… Granny drifted off to sleep still hearing the girls’ voices singing sweet hymns. She even dreamed she was still singing with them…“♫ when we all get to heaven, what a day of rejoicing that will be ♪… Her own voice sounded so pure, so beautiful, and so young? She could feel her lips moving as if the beautiful song was coming from her own mouth.

Slowly Granny opened her eyes and there she was lying on a bed of the softest silk she had ever felt. She sat up and looked around. This was the most lavish home she had ever seen!
But somehow she knew it was her home…her dream home that is. The bedroom was a beautiful shade of yellow, Granny’s favorite color. Everything was just as she had always imagined a perfect home to be.

She was so happy she wanted to dance but she knew her old legs wouldn’t hold her…and that is when she realized this must be a dream! There was no other explanation. In dreams you can do anything you want. So she might as well try. Granny started to dance…slowly at first, then faster. She danced and danced! She remembered dancing this way before, but that was many years ago. She lifted her hands in the air and twirled in a circle! From the corner of her eye she saw her own hand, spotless and creamy white.

“I used to have beautiful hands like this when I was young,” she thought. Just for fun she reached out and pinched herself. She didn’t feel a thing, but she didn’t wake up either. The pinch did not even leave a red mark. Granny wondered could this possibly be real? Can there really be something this wonderful? She had never felt this great…ever before. A ring at the doorbell stopped her mid-thought.

“Who in the world could that be?” she said aloud. Even as she said it her voice sounded strangely sweet and soft. She ran, actually ran, down the stairs. She opened the door and there stood the most handsome man she had ever seen! She gazed deeply into his blue eyes and recognized him.

“It’s time to go dear,” her beloved husband said.

Without thinking she followed him. Walking hand in hand they strolled down the street of gold. Friendly neighbors smiled and waved from their homes.

“Don’t you want to know where we are going?” Paw paw asked his beautiful bride.

Granny looked down and realized she was in a flowing gown of purest white. The bridal dress had diamonds that shimmered and sparkled in the light. They were heading toward a terrific warmth and brightness. Sounds of a party drifted along.

“Where are we going?” Granny confusedly asked.

“Why to your birthday party of course.” Granny was led to the head of the table.

“Happy birthday!” they all shouted.

The young man beside her hugged her and said, “Welcome home my Darling Daughter. I have missed you!”

She looked into his eyes…“Daddy!”

On her other side a beautiful girl who looked somewhat like herself had tears in her eyes…
“Mother!!!!!”

Many people she had known and loved stood clapping for granny. Suddenly, there was complete silence, then, “Ruth…..may I have this dance?”

Granny hadn’t been called Ruth in a long time. Ruth was her name before she was called Granny. She looked over to see who had spoken. A kindly man walked up, shining in the most beautiful light she had ever seen. A pure uncontrolled love shone from his eyes. Streams of light showered down upon Him from the throne on the hill.

As Granny looked up she saw God shining from His Own light. Raining down gleaming bursts of light and warmth, God in all His glory smiled and nodded His head at Granny. She immediately threw herself upon the ground and covered her head with her hands in shame.

Gently, Jesus uncovered her hands and lifted her up. He tilted her chin up and looked straight into her eyes. Grinning, Jesus asked, “Ruth may I have the first birthday dance?”

Before she had time to answer Jesus grabbed her and wrapped her in a big bear hug. Granny was so startled she began to giggle. She then heard Jesus laugh out loud in pure joy as he swung her around in wide circles.

Suddenly her Daddy had her in his arms swirling and twirling her around. Granny laughed and laughed. She was so happy! She thought she would cry for happiness but no tears came.

Back in her home after the party there was no need to rest. Granny thought about all the times she had said her old legs would give out. But now her legs were new and she would never say that again!

Granny thought about the little girls. She wished they could know how wonderful heaven really was! But no one could believe without coming. She knew the girls would be sad and miss her. And she would miss them too, but she wasn’t sad. Heaven was more than Granny had ever even imagined! She smiled as she thought about the little girls’ birthday party one day. When she saw them again she would stand and clap and dance and dance! Granny was thinking of all the fun she could have with the girls and never get tired.

Just then she heard a scratch at the door. It was a little dog the girls’ used to have. He was so excited to see granny that his little doggy tail shook his whole body. Granny took him up in her arms and surprisingly he didn’t stink. He then let out a small whimper.

“Yes, I miss them too”, she told the little dog as she scratched behind his ears. “You can live with me now and we’ll wait for the girls to come home to see us. I don’t mind waiting. It won’t be too long. You know what little doggy, if time flies when you’re havin’ fun, then time will soar here…I just know it!”

A JOURNEY OF HOPE, CHARITY, FAITH AND A LITTLE GRACE

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BABY - GIFT FROM GOD
The following is a true testimony from my daughter,
Sherry Evans:

“And so, Lord, where do I put my hope? My only hope is in You.” Psalm 39:7

I was saved at a young age but drifted away from the Lord in my teen years. I became a teen mom. My first daughter, Hope, was born shortly after  I turned 16. I went through a period of depression as I was finding my way back to the Lord, but God is faithful and He brought me back to Himself with open arms.
“I have wiped out your transgressions like a thick cloud And your sins like a heavy mist. Return to Me, for I have redeemed you.” Isaiah 44:22

“Charity suffers long, and is kind.” 1 Corinthians 13:4a.

A couple of years later we were blessed with another daughter…Charity. Shortly after she was born, I was given a shot at the doctors office which caused me to be unable to stand. My vision became fuzzy, my thinking cloudy, and my speech slurred. My muscles tensed and would not relax.  No doctor could find the cause or offer any hope. However, I had Hope in the Lord.

Now He had provided me with Charity (love) when I had no control over my circumstances. Over the years my symptoms improved and today simple seizures remain.
“The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in Him, and I am helped.” Psalm 28:7a

“Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Heb. 11:1

Ten years later we became expectant again. However,  the baby was not thriving. We arrived at the hospital to undergo a DNC, after testing revealed no heartbeat and blood tests showed the pregnancy was not viable.

As soon as we arrived, the nurse, on the spur of the moment decided to run one more unscheduled test and found a heartbeat. Thus, we were given Faith, our third daughter, in our time of need.
“For nothing will be impossible with God.” Luke 1:37

“My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

Five years later, we were blessed with our fourth child. The baby was diagnosed in utero as having only one partially functioning kidney. The other kidney was an unformed mass of cysts and tissue. Surgery was imminent according to the doctor. The outcome looked bleak.

We prayed for her to have two kidneys at birth. We prayed that there would be no surgery. When Lilah Grace was born she did have two kidneys. However, the doctors said she would need one kidney removed and a portion of the other removed as well. She had cysts in her bladder which could block her kidneys and those must be removed too.  Because of our reluctance, the surgeon agreed to wait and watch the situation. She continued to improve dramatically, astounding the doctors. Today, Lilah Grace has two functioning kidneys. Both kidneys are normal size. As for the bladder cysts, one disappeared completely, and the other shrank to a minimal size. No surgery has been performed. She is on no medication. By God’s grace the doctors say she is very remarkable.
“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3-22-23

Throughout everything,  God has given us His Grace to hold on to Hope in order to trust Him in Faith, while He wrapped us in His love (Charity). How truly blessed we are!